Happy New Year!
Okay, so perhaps not quite the greeting the civilians out there might be expecting in September.
But if you just finished serving a summer-long tour of duty strategizing camp routes and schedules, running deep intel ops on potential babysitter’s burner social accounts, mediating truces for multiple pint-sized skirmishes over remote control jurisdiction, preparing enough snacks daily to feel as if you were running a chow hall for a small army, and packing backpacks with a mind-boggling assortment of school supplies that would make a Tetris champ weep?
Well, after all that those “first day of school” pics sure can feel like a ball dropping in your own personal Times Square, the echo of some YouTube personality’s voice replacing “Auld Lang Syne” in the background. (Maybe all “auld acquaintances” shouldn’t be forgotten, but the streamer who helped your child swap dreams of becoming an astronaut for a plan to stream Minecraft cave-building for a living could be an exception.)